9/17/2013 She's been gone since July 18th. I miss her so much. I don't know what to do. It was so sudden that I think I was in shock for about two weeks. When it finally hit me, I didn't know what to do with anything. I'm still lost. It's horrible. I feel so low and depressed. How do you just go on with your life and what do you do with it? She was my best friend and my love for the last 12 years. I don't have the words to say how much I love and miss her. Her daughter, who went to stay with family seems happy, doesn't even call or come visit anymore. The last time she came visit, she brought along her friend and stayed with her back to me for the most of the visit. Really nice, huh? Oh well, it's what I expected from her.
I hate not being able to talk to Paula. She was so much fun to talk to. We would laugh at stupid things people did all the time. She was the only person besides my dad that I know truly loved me. What am I supposed to do now? Does anybody even know the answer to this question? Every thing I see, every where I go, I think of her. God, I miss her.....
UPDATE: 12/23/2013
Everything is the same as it was before.... It does not get any easier as time passes. I heard that it's supposed to, but that's not true in my case.This will be a sad Christmas without my baby.
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